Tuesday, June 16, 2009

DIY Iceland: Necropants

A fun craft project for all ages!

1. Identify a man possessing great wealth and fertility who you envy because you are poor and impotent.
2. Kill said wealthy man, preferably with a Viking axe or dagger fashioned out of a whale's tooth.
3. Skin dead man completely from the waist down, and hide skin in a secure location.
4. Attend man's funeral, sitting close to his widow so you can easily snatch two coins from her satchel.
5. Go to secure, undisclosed location and retrieve decaying man-flesh.
6. Place the two stolen coins in, ahem, the dead man's "coin purse," if you will.
7. Pull on your new pair of Necropants over your jeans, sit back, and enjoy all the years of good fortune and virility that are headed your way, courtesy of your jerky dead neighbor!
WARNING: Do not die in your Necropants. If you do, you will go straight to hell and burn for eternity. Please remove Necropants before demise.

Thanks to our Haunted Reykjavik tour guide, Oli, for imparting this ancient wisdom upon us!

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